That's part of the beauty of being a leader, in fact. The follower lives in a blissful ignorance of the leader's plan, and on top of that, she often has plans of her own - in her own, soft yet compelling manner.
Think of it this way. You are a married, mad scientist - and one Friday morning, with dark passion thundering in your eyes, you tell your wife: "Today, I shall take over the world!!" And she replies serenely - "Certainly, dear, but first you have to walk Schmuffles; and pick up some milk on the way, will you?..."
Personally, I think it's her hand on your back which does the trick. But no matter: the point is this - each and every step you take as a leader, each plan, each dynamic needs to depend strictly on the follower's response. It's a waste and a shame when you do a splendid back sacada with double voleo, followed by two baridas on a gyro - and in the meanwhile your follower watches amused from a safe 5 feet distance, because you lost her after the second step (when she decided to do a long, passionate caresso).
You do good, as a leader, if your follower is comfortable. And mind you, that alone is a tough game of the mind. If you are lucky enough though to have a constant tango partner, then you can reduce the hard riddle to a simple matter of communication. Naturally, there is nothing simple in that either - unless you remember what I just wrote in my title.